IC contact for lastvoyages

[citizendetective]

[If I don't have an active post up, feel free to use this post to have your character call, videochat, text, or knock on Misty's door.]

Comments

[citizendetective]

You think I felt left out because I really wanted some quesadillas?

That is so not the point.

[greatoldjohn]

No, Misty, I figured you felt left out because there was a gathering and you weren't invited. But given that the quesadillas were the only part I could feasibly make you a part of with the situation as it was, that was what I tried.

[citizendetective]

[... Ah.]

Thank you.

I'm sorry I didn't take them.

[But looking back, she's pretty sure Natalie only told her about them to piss her off more.]

[greatoldjohn]

They were the first quesadillas I've ever had but I liked them.

[citizendetective]

They're super good. I bet Nat was really good at making them.

I have another question.

[greatoldjohn]

Go for it.

[citizendetective]

Do you think I matter to her at all?

[greatoldjohn]

[ There's a longer pause than usual. ]

Yes, I do.

I think this was a plan to try and detach both of us from her. Potentially to get us squabbling so she could slink away from both relationships.

[citizendetective]

Which is also something she might do if she just wanted to be rid of us.

[greatoldjohn]

She *did* want to get rid of us.

I chose to tell her to fuck herself on that score.

What you decide is up to you.

[citizendetective]

I mean get rid of us because she's sick of us, not because she's guilt-ridden and has low self-esteem.

[greatoldjohn]

Oh.

I don't think that was it.

But you'd have to ask her yourself. I won't speak for her.

[citizendetective]

Okay.

How are you doing?

[greatoldjohn]

Okay now.

I've never cried before.

It was...

Different.

[citizendetective]

Were you capable of crying before?

[greatoldjohn]

I don't know.

It never came up.

[citizendetective]

Lucky you. It's really awful.

[greatoldjohn]

Not really.

I was a being apart, apathetic to all.

I'd rather cry than not have anything to cry about.

[citizendetective]

I'd rather not have anything to cry about.

[greatoldjohn]

You'd rather not have your Team, Natalie included?

I don't think so.

That's what I mean, though.

[citizendetective]

That's not what I meant. I'd rather be someone who never cries, no matter what happens.

[greatoldjohn]

I have been that.

I never want to be it again.

It requires a level of apathy that removes all the joy, all the wonder, all the beauty from the world. It is antithetical to love or purpose or meaning.

The tears were awful. But I shed them because I love Arthur. And the thought of him dying alone, in the dark, without me, was too much to bear without them.

[citizendetective]

I think I could find that level of apathy really easily.

[greatoldjohn]

I'm not sure. But I hope you don't.

I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

It's existence, Misty. It's not life.

[citizendetective]

Well, it helps if you don't think of it as apathy. That's a really negative word.