IC contact for lastvoyages

[citizendetective]

[If I don't have an active post up, feel free to use this post to have your character call, videochat, text, or knock on Misty's door.]

Comments

[citizendetective]

Do you think I'm lying when I say I was trying to respect your wishes?

[greatoldjohn]

Not even a little bit.

Is there a reason you haven't apologized?

[citizendetective]

There's a few, but you need to take me at my word and not just call me manipulative.

[greatoldjohn]

I'll try. I'm not an un-suspicious person.

It will help if you aren't trying to pretend like you don't care.

[citizendetective]

I haven't done that at all in this conversation.

[greatoldjohn]

You haven't, no.

But I suspect that this is where vulnerability would come in. And I wanted to be totally honest with you. I don't want to surprise you, or give you false expectations. That's not fair to you.

I think I can.

I'm listening.

[citizendetective]

I was hurt that said you don't want to see me right now, even though I decided to respect that wish and give you space. Being hurt makes it harder to give a real apology. I'm also still figuring out how I feel about what happened, which also makes it harder. And I get the sense that I don't have anything close to the full story here, and I don't know if Natalie will even tell me the full story. It's hard to apologize when you don't even know what you're apologizing for.

Texting on the network also seems way too inconsequential for that kind of conversation. Or this kind of conversation, honestly, but I am still trying to respect your wishes.

[greatoldjohn]

Okay.

I believe everything you said, and I don't think you're being manipulative.

I accept that. And I appreciate you being honest with me. You can take your time figuring out how you feel about it; I don't want to rush you.

Thank you for respecting my wishes. And thank you for trusting me with this.

I wasn't kidding, though. You can come see Natalie whenever. Tonight as well, as long as she wants to see you. I can't say if she'll open the door because I won't be there.

[citizendetective]

Did she tell you why she wanted to do this?

[greatoldjohn]

She did.

Do you want to hear it from her?

[citizendetective]

Would you tell me if I asked you?

[greatoldjohn]

Yes. I wasn't sure if you wanted to hear it from me.

[citizendetective]

I'd like to hear it from both of you.

[Especially since she's not at all confident that she'll get anything at all from Natalie.]

[greatoldjohn]

She wanted to unpair from me because she thought I'd be stuck with an inmate who could never graduate otherwise. She was trying to save me from being her warden because she thinks she's unredeemable.

I told her that was bullshit and that that wasn't happening.

And I'll tell you the same thing I told her: I will get her graduated if I have to drag her every step of the way. She's not getting rid of me and I'm not giving up on her.

[citizendetective]

Good. She doesn't think that's possible right now.

So everything else she made up?

[greatoldjohn]

I don't know what she told you. But this whole thing was a total surprise.

I was trying her

Did you get the quesadillas? I told her to make sure you got some too. I'm sorry it was during our week time out. It just kind of happened after Dorian let me try cheese for the first time.

[citizendetective]

I was hurt by that too, so I told her I didn't want them. Is it true that Pagan wasn't there?

[greatoldjohn]

No. I like Pagan but I didn't want to make you feel left out or make him question the best way to show solidarity with you. So I just didn't ask.

[citizendetective]

[So she'd been honest about that, at least.]

But Lark and Dorian were.

[greatoldjohn]

Dorian is the one who was willing to let me use his sense of taste.

Lark just asked for some quesadillas because it sounded tasty. He wasn't really there long.

[citizendetective]

I know the "correct" answer is that you're allowed to invite over anyone you want, for whatever you want.

[greatoldjohn]

...but you felt left out.

I guessed as much. I tried to find a compromise by making sure you got some too.

I'm sorry it still hurt.

[citizendetective]

You think I felt left out because I really wanted some quesadillas?

That is so not the point.

[greatoldjohn]

No, Misty, I figured you felt left out because there was a gathering and you weren't invited. But given that the quesadillas were the only part I could feasibly make you a part of with the situation as it was, that was what I tried.

[citizendetective]

[... Ah.]

Thank you.

I'm sorry I didn't take them.

[But looking back, she's pretty sure Natalie only told her about them to piss her off more.]